Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Listening with Deaf Ears

Today, I woke uncomfortable, aching and tired.  Oddly enough, my first thought past checking the time was, "what do I need?  I'm listening."  Unfortunately, I'm not hearing.

Throughout the day, I've stopped, collected myself, and tried to listen.  "What do I need?  What should I do?"  Still, I am not hearing.

Because it was necessary, I faced the downpour and fetched my passport, in shorts and a raincoat, often wading through the water between sidewalks.  Passport in hand, I tried to take stock of what I needed.  Getting nothing, I procured lunch to go, and went back to the hotel room.

This afternoon, I've been working, engaged with people, and not getting much time for myself.  I've steadily worsened to a painful headache and a cough that makes it much worse.  Still trying to listen.  Still not hearing.

I'm off my last call.  I've taken a break.  I am listening.  I need better food than I know how to find from my hotel room.  I need water - not soda, water.  I need rest.

I'll take a hot bath, and see where I am.  If I can muster up enough energy, I think I'm a 10 minute walk from Rouses, a Louisiana grocery chain.  Maybe I can find some edible, raw vegetables there.  Then, I think I'll take the evening off, with a goal of being asleep by 10 pm, if not earlier.

I am listening.  I am open to listening.  I hear I am sick.  I'll do what I can to recover.

2 comments:

  1. Listen and you shall hear.
    The first duty of love is to listen. The path of self-care and being able to be in deep communion with the body starts with the simple listening.
    You say you are not hearing, but then you tell me all of the things that you heard. Being sick, needing water, needing fresh vegetables. The body can't get past these things yet. Once it has been taken care of in a deeper way it will start to respond with more information.

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  2. Most of the day, I wasn't hearing. I was trying to listen and got nothing. It wasn't until I was writing that I finally heard.

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